2009 was the year of Aadit. I marvel at the progress he's made in terms of knowledge, understanding, milestones and the ability to get what he wants by crying out loud :-)
2010 begins with a planned trip to India. Going on an international trip with a toddler is a challenge. I have an excel spreadsheet with a list of 90 must-have items for hand luggage and another 90 for checked-in luggage. But then there will be sight-seeing in singapore, a trip to the famed mustapha's shopping store and then ofcourse, shopping in India. I just hope we all don't fall sick, especially aadit.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Remembering Papa
Today marks 12 years since my beloved papa passed away. It's been such a long time that it does not hurt the way it used to .. i.e. I can get through the day without shedding buckets of tears.
I focus on the qualities that I think I have imbibed from my papa. I *think* I have his sense of innocence, the quality to see the good in people, the capacity to love and respect people for who they are and his ability to show love and affection openly. Sadly, I don't have his mathematical skills, his immense patience and ability to stick to his morals without offending anyone else.
If I have one complaint of god is that he took away a good man way too early. There are so many people who would have benefitted from knowing him and spending time with him. Me included. He was a rare man indeed.
Love You Papa where-ever you are. We all love you and miss you so much. Din Mahine saal guzarte jayenge. Aapki yaadon me ham jeete marte jaenge.
I focus on the qualities that I think I have imbibed from my papa. I *think* I have his sense of innocence, the quality to see the good in people, the capacity to love and respect people for who they are and his ability to show love and affection openly. Sadly, I don't have his mathematical skills, his immense patience and ability to stick to his morals without offending anyone else.
If I have one complaint of god is that he took away a good man way too early. There are so many people who would have benefitted from knowing him and spending time with him. Me included. He was a rare man indeed.
Love You Papa where-ever you are. We all love you and miss you so much. Din Mahine saal guzarte jayenge. Aapki yaadon me ham jeete marte jaenge.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Love and Detestation
Can you love someone who makes you miserable at times ? Yep!
I love my mom to death and would do anything for her. Yet at the same time, her behavior on occassions irritates me to no end! Especially when she gets into her over-protective mom mode .. hello I am 30 plus now and can very well take care of myself and think for myself! And no, there is nothing called jaadu-tona in this world!
Same goes for my husband ... I love him but at times I want to run a knife through him!
So I do understand when someone close to me does not want to let go of a person who causes pain to him. It's just that it's very hard to see him suffer in silence. But I do understand his behavior. Both of us are painted with the same brush of love and understanding.
I love my mom to death and would do anything for her. Yet at the same time, her behavior on occassions irritates me to no end! Especially when she gets into her over-protective mom mode .. hello I am 30 plus now and can very well take care of myself and think for myself! And no, there is nothing called jaadu-tona in this world!
Same goes for my husband ... I love him but at times I want to run a knife through him!
So I do understand when someone close to me does not want to let go of a person who causes pain to him. It's just that it's very hard to see him suffer in silence. But I do understand his behavior. Both of us are painted with the same brush of love and understanding.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
For Papa
September 16th is my father's birthday. Had he been alive it would have been his 60th birthday today. Happy Birthday Papa. We miss you terribly. But I know you are with me always. I sense your presence, especially when I'm low. Thank you so much for being there for me always. You're the bestest dad in the world. Love You sooooo much ...
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Expansion of Boundaries
Several generations ago, one of my forefathers ventured out of the little village of Mahensar in Rajasthan to seek a better life. Not sure what exact route was taken but my grand-father ended up in Bhagalpur, Bihar. The expansion of boundaries from Mahensar to Bhagalpur is lost in the mists of time, but after that, we know what happened. My father expanded his boundaries from Bhagalpur to Amritsar, then Gwalior. And thereafter began the international expansion, with his jobs in Nigeria and Trinidad. The next generation, i.e. my brother Udit and I have now expanded to the USA which is now our home.
From a tiny village that you can't even find on a map to the USA ... what an expansion of boundaries!
I don't know what will happen in the next generation .. perhaps an expansion beyond the planet Earth? Maybe not in my lifetime, but I am sure that future generations of the Mahensaria clan will expand to realms that we can only dream about today!
From a tiny village that you can't even find on a map to the USA ... what an expansion of boundaries!
I don't know what will happen in the next generation .. perhaps an expansion beyond the planet Earth? Maybe not in my lifetime, but I am sure that future generations of the Mahensaria clan will expand to realms that we can only dream about today!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Love of a Father
This december will mark 12 years since my dad passed away. After his death, I spent many years trying to forget him because it was too painful to remember him and the wonderful memories I had of him. I felt betrayed by his death and blamed for him leaving me so early in my life. Did he not love me enough? What had I done to deserve my father leaving me at a time when I was getting out of my teenage years and just staring to appreciate what a wonderful person he was.
It's only in the past year or so that I've been able to come to terms with my dad's passing. The first step was to have the guts to display his picture in my living room. This way, I feel that atleast he is here to watch over me and help me in my times of need. Sentimental ? Perhaps yes.
But I have come to the conclusion that alive, or in heaven, my dad is in my life and with me through everything. Every time I have had a tough situation in my life, my dad appears in my dreams. This has hapened without fail for the past 12 years, but it took me a long time to realize that this was his way of being here for me without being here in person. So I had no reason to be angry with him.
I do wonder how different my life would be if my dad was alive today. Where would I be living, what kind of lifestyle would I have, what would I be doing? Then I wonder whether he approves of the decisions that I have made in my life. Would he have approved of my career, my choice of spouse? The latter bugs me the most. Conventional wisdom says that women look for qualities in a spouse that remind them of their father. Is that true in my case? And would my dad have approved?
Everyone in my family knows that my dad and I shared a very special relationship. I was his first-born and his princess. He spared no expense to make me a success in school and beyond. His love was unconditional and infinite. I could do no wrong in his eyes. He protected and sheltered me from every storm in life. And gave me the freedom to spread my wings and explore the world on my own terms. I knew that he would always be there to catch me if I fell.
I think thats why his death hit me really hard. The only person who loved me uncondtionally for who I am was no more. And I really really hated him for leaving me to fend by myself. I know my mother and brother love me a lot and will do anything for me, but I don't think that anyone can love me as much as my dad did. Love, pure, unconditional, unwavering and infinite.
Life is tough for me these past few days. Someone close to me did something that hurt my feelings so much that I cannot even bear to talk to him. And at this time, I am really really missing my dad. I wish he was here in person to calm me, soothe me and tell me everything will be ok. I really need some tender, loving care right now and there's no one here to give that to me. Had he been alive, I would have run into his arms and cried out my hurt. He would have given me a great big hug, swept my hair and let me cry till I could cry no more. Oh how I wish he was here with me right now. Nothing is greater than a father's love and even at the age of 31 I am craving to crawl into his arms like a little child and staying there for the rest of my life.
It's only in the past year or so that I've been able to come to terms with my dad's passing. The first step was to have the guts to display his picture in my living room. This way, I feel that atleast he is here to watch over me and help me in my times of need. Sentimental ? Perhaps yes.
But I have come to the conclusion that alive, or in heaven, my dad is in my life and with me through everything. Every time I have had a tough situation in my life, my dad appears in my dreams. This has hapened without fail for the past 12 years, but it took me a long time to realize that this was his way of being here for me without being here in person. So I had no reason to be angry with him.
I do wonder how different my life would be if my dad was alive today. Where would I be living, what kind of lifestyle would I have, what would I be doing? Then I wonder whether he approves of the decisions that I have made in my life. Would he have approved of my career, my choice of spouse? The latter bugs me the most. Conventional wisdom says that women look for qualities in a spouse that remind them of their father. Is that true in my case? And would my dad have approved?
Everyone in my family knows that my dad and I shared a very special relationship. I was his first-born and his princess. He spared no expense to make me a success in school and beyond. His love was unconditional and infinite. I could do no wrong in his eyes. He protected and sheltered me from every storm in life. And gave me the freedom to spread my wings and explore the world on my own terms. I knew that he would always be there to catch me if I fell.
I think thats why his death hit me really hard. The only person who loved me uncondtionally for who I am was no more. And I really really hated him for leaving me to fend by myself. I know my mother and brother love me a lot and will do anything for me, but I don't think that anyone can love me as much as my dad did. Love, pure, unconditional, unwavering and infinite.
Life is tough for me these past few days. Someone close to me did something that hurt my feelings so much that I cannot even bear to talk to him. And at this time, I am really really missing my dad. I wish he was here in person to calm me, soothe me and tell me everything will be ok. I really need some tender, loving care right now and there's no one here to give that to me. Had he been alive, I would have run into his arms and cried out my hurt. He would have given me a great big hug, swept my hair and let me cry till I could cry no more. Oh how I wish he was here with me right now. Nothing is greater than a father's love and even at the age of 31 I am craving to crawl into his arms like a little child and staying there for the rest of my life.
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Power of Love
In the first 6 books of Harry Potter, Dumbledore tells Harry that the power of love overcomes all evil. Ofcourse, we see this come true in Book 7. Harry’s mom sacrificed herself for Harry, so when Voldermort tries to kill Harry, the curse rebounds back to Voldermort. Love for her son makes Narcissa Malfoy tell Voldermort that Harry is dead, even though he is alive and this ultimately leads to his downfall. Love for her children makes Mrs. Weasley take on Bellatrix Lestrange and kill her when no one else had been able to. And love leads to 6 new characters in the 7th book (the kids of HP-GW and RW-HG), giving us a chance for a new series of adventures :-)
All this happens in the magical world that Ms. Rowling created. So pray tell me why in Muggles-Land i.e. the real world we inhabitate, why don’t we see the power of love overcome all ? Why do husbands and wives fight? Are’nt they supposed to be in love?Why do they do things with the intent of hurting one another’s feelings and gain pleasure in seeing each other in pain ?
My theory is that real love in the real world exists only between a mother and her child. Mothers are the ultimate self-sacrificers who will do anything for the sake of their kids.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, they make countless sacrifices for their children. Perhaps Ms. Rowling knows this. Look at her book. Lily Potter’s love for her son saves him. Lord Voldermort is betrayed by Narcissa Malfoy for the sake of her son. Mrs. Weasley defeats Bellatrix when her kids are at risk.
Yep, mom’s love overcomes all. Husbands and wives need to learn this lesson too and apply it to their lives. A tall order I know, but something we can all learn to do with time, Vinay and me included.
All this happens in the magical world that Ms. Rowling created. So pray tell me why in Muggles-Land i.e. the real world we inhabitate, why don’t we see the power of love overcome all ? Why do husbands and wives fight? Are’nt they supposed to be in love?Why do they do things with the intent of hurting one another’s feelings and gain pleasure in seeing each other in pain ?
My theory is that real love in the real world exists only between a mother and her child. Mothers are the ultimate self-sacrificers who will do anything for the sake of their kids.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, they make countless sacrifices for their children. Perhaps Ms. Rowling knows this. Look at her book. Lily Potter’s love for her son saves him. Lord Voldermort is betrayed by Narcissa Malfoy for the sake of her son. Mrs. Weasley defeats Bellatrix when her kids are at risk.
Yep, mom’s love overcomes all. Husbands and wives need to learn this lesson too and apply it to their lives. A tall order I know, but something we can all learn to do with time, Vinay and me included.
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