Restlessness

Solitude does a number on one's mind. Makes one restless and reconsider life's path - what if this had hapened instead of this ... would be life be any different ... any better ? would I be living in the usa or somewhere else .. what would I be doing right now? would I have been happier or sadder ... married or not, with child or without ... the possibilities are endless.

Thank god for aadit who grounds me in the reality of today .. or else I would end up in a mental asylum thinking about the supposed alternate life paths.

Singlehood

I'm a temporary single mom for a year since Vinay is off to graduate school. I admit, I do like parts of being temporarily single. The house is clean and things stay exactly where they are supposed to :-) ; I can watch whatever channel I want on TV and eat whatever I feel like making.

But it's hard too. Especially when Aadit keeps asking for his papa. And when he is sick. That's the toughest. I have to keep reminding myself that countless women have done this before me, some for years at end.

Bonus - I know now how to operate an electric screwdriver, throw out the trash, locate and fix the fuse box and get my car's oil changed :-)

2011

2011 has brought with it a new challenge. Vinay is off to Boston for a year to pursue the famed Sloan Fellows Program at MIT. Aadit and I chose to stay back in Fremont because I want Vinay to be free to study without distractions and I don't really care for the east coast, weather-wise or life-style wise. So far, it's not been too bad! Aadit and I have our routine ... with the added bonus that papa is not here to mess up mommy's clean and organized house ;-)

Fremont weather is horrendous. It's raining in June! Runing my kitchen garden. Hope it clears up soon!

2010 draws to an end

2010 has been a good year so far. A trip to Singapore and India in March to visit family was a good way to start. A month in DC with Mom, Bro and Sis-In-Law was the highlight of the summer. Aadit's 2 week "stint" at daycare in September marked the beginning of fall. Winter highlight will defnitely be my kitchen winter garden with beets, spinach, peas, onions, radishes and carrots on the card.

It's been 10 years now that I started working. Time has just flown by. Grad school is just a distant memory. I often wonder how my fellow students are doing. It would be good to meet them and see where life has taken them over these 10 years.

Aadit and Udit

A friend asked me yesterday how I came about to naming Aadit ... was it supposed to rhyme with Udit (my brother). Well, yes, and no. When I was pregnant, and found out it was a boy, I wanted a meaningful name. Of the thousands of names I reviewed, I liked Krishiv (combo of krishna and shiv), aadit (meaning first born) and vipul (combo of vinay and pooja ;-) ). Living in america, we figured that it's best to go with the easiest pronounciable name, (my number one choice anyways), which was Aadit and the rhymability factor with the uncle was the icing on the cake. It is remarkable too that if you look at aadit's baby pictures and udit's baby pictures, the resemblance in uncanny! Like Uncle Like Nephew Indeed!

2010

2009 was the year of Aadit. I marvel at the progress he's made in terms of knowledge, understanding, milestones and the ability to get what he wants by crying out loud :-)

2010 begins with a planned trip to India. Going on an international trip with a toddler is a challenge. I have an excel spreadsheet with a list of 90 must-have items for hand luggage and another 90 for checked-in luggage. But then there will be sight-seeing in singapore, a trip to the famed mustapha's shopping store and then ofcourse, shopping in India. I just hope we all don't fall sick, especially aadit.

Remembering Papa

Today marks 12 years since my beloved papa passed away. It's been such a long time that it does not hurt the way it used to .. i.e. I can get through the day without shedding buckets of tears.

I focus on the qualities that I think I have imbibed from my papa. I *think* I have his sense of innocence, the quality to see the good in people, the capacity to love and respect people for who they are and his ability to show love and affection openly. Sadly, I don't have his mathematical skills, his immense patience and ability to stick to his morals without offending anyone else.

If I have one complaint of god is that he took away a good man way too early. There are so many people who would have benefitted from knowing him and spending time with him. Me included. He was a rare man indeed.

Love You Papa where-ever you are. We all love you and miss you so much. Din Mahine saal guzarte jayenge. Aapki yaadon me ham jeete marte jaenge.